Cobb Family Traditions: The Trinity of Food

Some families enjoy the Christmas Goose or Turkey. Some go with some Shrimp on Christmas Eve. At the Cobb Family there are 3 staples that must be in place to have the Cobb Christmas dinner. They are: Ham, Mashed Potatoes, and Scalloped Corn. If any of these three are missing there is an uproar. Do we like scalloped potatoes? Yes, but there better be a bowl of mashed potatoes, too. Scalloped corn is basically creamed corn mixed with flour and eggs so it is very fluffy. As a result of these 3 items being the anchors of the Christmas meal these are the first to be gone during the left-overs season. Some family members will pick their favorite and just have a bowl of one dish, like a large bowl of mashed potatoes for lunch. The ham is usually converted to ham sandwiches with mustard.

Now there are 3 other things that must be at the Cobb Family Christmas festivities or you’ll have a riot and many trips to Meijer (the grocery store) to pick up supplies. They are: Coke, homemade Caramels, and homemade FUDGE! There has to be a steady stream of pop flowing through Cobb veins to keep them awake and able to put puzzles together until 2 am. Caramels are wrapped in wax paper and you cannot just eat one. Fudge comes in a variety and it is up to the baker to decide what they’ll make that year. We usually get a chocolate or chocolate-marshmallow. Then someone gets their “weird” fudges like maple or amaretto. It is also fun to see who will not check the fudge’s temperature correctly and mess up their batch. We usually have a batch of “frosting”–too soft fudge and “Brown Sugar Crystals”–fudge cooked too long. We’ll eat whatever we get. We will also eat “fudge crumbles” the little chards of fudge at the bottom of the pan from cutting the fuge up. One year my sister got a tupperware full of “fudge crumbles” as a gift from another sister.

Other family constants: green bean casserole, cinnamon jell-o salad, and Chex Mix

Update: Taboo Party Topics

I am discovering that the female armpit hair culture is more widespread than what I thought.
My nephew’s girlfriend does not follow this simple hygeine technique.
Helpful Hint to Men: Stop being subservient to these hairy beasts and tell them to shave. The females are obviously wearing the pants in this relationship (well, the pants are under a very flowing flowered print skirt and a cardigan sweater that smells like weed).

Nothing Says Christmas

Nothing Says Christmas like having to share a bed with your sister and talking into the wee hours of the morning. Usually included are inside jokes about your family and quotes from tv shows and movies.
There is also no regard for personal space when you have to share a bed with a sister. You become someone’s human body pillow.
As my mom says we “just get to laughin’ ” about something and we can’t stop.
Much of the conversation is “had to be there” as we are all hyped up on coke, cookies, fudge and exhaustion. Also, alot of our agression is pent up from earlier in the day if we can’t be rude to an in-law’s face.
It is best to have an “unwilling sister” in be with you. That means that they either are tired or do not want to be touched. It gives you more ammunition to snuggle and torture them with Christmas songs with words changed to talk about your family. When they say “stop it” it means “I love it and keep going”.
For some reason I have a few sisters who are glad Christmas is only once a year.

New Christmas Game: Cookie Smash

Our family has developed a new game for the Christmas Season called “Cookie Smash”. We always love to play games around the kitchen table like Trivial Pursuit or Mexican Train, but we also have a large supply of Coke and Cookies near our seats.
The rules of the game are simple: If someone has a cookie and they place it on the table you have to smash it with your fist. More than likely the person will continue eating it, because we are all family. As the game progresses people get more protective of their cookies so they will hold on to them in their hands or put the whole thing in their mouth. So it gets trickier. You need to find ways to trick them to put their cookie on the table. Like asking them to go get you a blanket, then they put down the cookie and leave to get the blanket for you and then you smash it! This game is for adults because kids don’t know how to control their fists or their excitement for the game. Our first victims were No-Bake Cookies. They are good becuase they don’t crumble into a mess, they just stick to the table or plate. Even Santa’s cookies were not safe last night!
Another variation is “Finger Dip” where you stick your finger in someone’s drink. For some reason my sister Ty doesn’t like it!

YouTube – Funny Christmas Song – Bohemian Christmas Rhapsody Video

A Queen classic Christmas style.  If you have short attention span skip to minut 3:15 for the climax of the song.  It has good animation to show elves playing guitars and pianos.

 

YouTube – Funny Christmas Song – Bohemian Christmas Rhapsody Video.

Top 5 Christmas Songs

5. The Little Drummer Boy by Josh Groban.  This song doesn’t have to be sung by Josh Groban, but I do like this version.  I love it because it reminds you that you don’t have to give extravagent gifts at Christmas.  Instead you should give something from your talents and your heart.  We can give so little to Jesus yet He still loves us. My favorite line is “then He smiled at me, me and my drum.”  Gets me everytime.  Plus, you gotta love ox and lamb keeping time.

4. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland. This one is from Meet Me in St. Louis. This one is kind of a sad song because it is about how you might not be able to get together, but next year will be better. It actually uses the line “somehow we’ll muddle through”. Wow. Heart-breaker. There is still a little hope, if the fates align. Judy Garland is the classic voice for this version of the song.

3. White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby. I love the sound of old Chrismtas songs as if it is playing on a record player. This one has this feel, Bing Crosby’s voice has the clear tone that makes him sound like he is in the room with you but you can almost hear the record snapping or cracking in the background. This is from the movie White Christmas and I love when he whistles and uses his pipe to hit the bells. This song has been more special to me recently as in Georgia we don’t get White Christmases. So I think about my return to Michigan and how I will get my usual blizzard.

2. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole.  Another one that sounds like an old record playing.  It makes you glad that you are one of the kids 1 from 92.   I love how he sings the word “Eskimos”.

1. Joseph’s Lullaby by MercyMe.  This one is not a “classic”, yet.  The song tells Christ’s birth from the viewpoint of Joseph.  It is such a beautiful songs with many touching lines.  One that breaks your heart is when Joseph says, “The world can wait for one more moment.  Go and sleep in peace” because Joseph knows that his son will do great things for the world.  He just wants his son to have one night to be a baby before he begins his life as the Son of God.  Joseph even asks God to let Jesus “for just this moment  simply be my child.”   Joseph is Jesus’ adopted father and he wants to love and protect him.  It’s just a beautiful depiction of Christ’s birth.

Have a Wham-Tastic Christmas!

Now this is some awesome 80’s Christmas Music. It makes me glad that I don’t have to trudge through snow in 80’s clothes. I hate it when my 3 pairs of slouch socks get wet when I wear my moon-boots.

WHAM!

Taboo Party Topics?

I recently went to an “office party” aka “teachers gone wild” party to celebrate the holidays. It was a nice get-together because it is nice to talk to your work friends outside the confines of work. Of course a lot of times it turns into griping about our work either students or fellow workers.
This year I decided to abstain from the “gone wild” portion of the party. I told my friends it is because I want to cut calories. I would rather eat my calories than drink them. The real reason is that I have made the choice not to drink anymore because I don’t like how I can quickly get out of control. One way I do get out of control is that I voice my opinion on such taboo topics of politics and religion. Well, of course, I know that my viewpoints are the only correct ones and everyone else are ignorant heathens. Apparently people don’t like to be told that they are wrong.
Well this year I decided I wasn’t going to be baited into such conversations so I avoided all talk of politics and religion.
But there was one topic that I never thought that I would ever “offend” someone with.
I was telling a story about my trip to Hungary and how we went to a mineral spa. I said that it was like the movie Cocoon. There were a bunch of old people in tiny bathing suits and old men in Speedoes. I said that I had never seen so many women with hairy armpits. I said it was gross because they were wearing a bathing suit with hair hanging out the arm pits. I was then notified by one of my co-workers that she does not shave at all. She said, “It is pointless.” I begged to differ. I could tell that I had upset her with my hairy armpit comments. Is this where the world has gone to? We have to be politically-correct about armpit hair? Somehow armpit hair has been turned into a “lifestyle choice”. Now I have to be apologetic that someone has poor hygiene?
I’m drawing the line right there. There are certain things that I don’t have to be tolerant of and armpit hair is not one of them. Hey, if you got hairy pits, more power to you, but keep it to yourself–under a very thick sweater and out of our sight. Oh, and while I am at it, all that talk about our “carbon-footprint” is a load a junk when you go out to the patio and smoke a pack of cigarettes in 4 hours.
Wow, see, if I had “gone wild” I could of said something like that to her face, but I hold inside and then publish it on the internet instead. Cathartic, ahhh.

Cookies!

Okay, we are officially into the 12 days of Christmas and I think I have blown my cookie quota early. We had a cookie swap party and I tried to “run the table” by having 1 of each cookie. I got 8 cookies into it and I had to quit. I thought it was just half-time in the feeding frenzy, but the sugar coma was coming strong. I had to take the cookies to-go and I don’t know if I have enough energy to go for a second round. Good thing I had my elastic waist pants on.

Top 5: Things on TV to Fall Asleep to

Many nights I am not ready to go right to sleep, so I have to turn on the tv to make me wind down. Yes, this is an element I share with my mother, which frightens me. So if you suffer from a little insomnia once in a while, like I do, here are some suggestions to turn on in the wee hours of the night. These are much better than warm milk.

1. The Golden Girls.
You can always classify you and your friends as either a Blanche, Dorothy, Sofia or Rose. When I hear about St. Olaf I feel warm and fuzzy inside and then I can get settled to sleep.

2. The History Channel. Best for Saturday or Sunday afternoon naps.  You feel real good because you are getting an education, but within 7 minutes the dulcet tones of the narrator will have you out cold.  The problem, they use the same narrators over and over again, so set an alarm, otherwise you’ll be passed out for hours.

3. Johnny Carson.  Okay. Okay. This is not on the air anymore, but when I was a kid I would crawl into bed with my parents and watch the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and I would be asleep by the second guest.  I was so upset when he want off the air because Arsenio, Leno and Letterman did not cut it and I can’t wait that long to stay up and watch Conan O’Brien.  I am hoping to get Johnny on DVD so I can pop him in and fall asleep with childhood memories.

4. Turner Classic Movies.  There’s something about the crisp picture of a black and white film that makes me fall asleep.  Usually the movies start with a sweeping soundtrack and you recognize some famous actors’ names and you decide it would be a good one to check out.  This one takes about 12 minutes and I’m done.  I don’t even get past the exposition because the characters start to blend together or they sing a song.  There are a few exceptions to the rule, but those are mainly movies who are on my AFI Top 100 list and then it becomes a mission to complete the movie.

5. Roseanne.  How can this be? It is the most loud and annoying show on tv.  Well, it is on so late and runs for about 3 hours so with your insomnia you’ll eventually fall asleep while watching it.  Some times I struggle when they get too loud and start screaming, so keep the volume low.